Vaccines Deified; Calls For Death Penalty For Criticism Of Vaccines.

"Without vaccines humans would all be dead."

Medical and science experts on the payroll across the world have signed a declaration asking world governments and institutions including the Vatican to deify vaccines.

“Without vaccines, humans would all be dead. And that’s a fact,” Oncologist Dr. Gorski declared. “We further request that anyone caught criticizing vaccines should be executed. On the spot. We don’t support vigilantism but we support it here,” he continued.

Vaccine died for our sins.

“No fucking asshole is gonna go to a baseball game and fucking breathe they’re dirty asymptomatic germs and bread on me and my mask,” one cardiologist railed. “You don’t want to accept vaccines, good. You just can’t live. We all make choices. I’m not a violent man but I sure as hell am here”.

The Nobel Prize committee is considering giving all vaccines prizes in science, and chemistry as well as the peace prize. “I don’t think I’d be exaggerating when I say vaccines are the most important development in the history of mankind since the Sham-Wow. The vaccines will look great next to Obama and Arafat,’ a spokesperson for the committee said.

The Vatican in a statement said we’ve already commissioned our best sculptor to carve a statue of a syringe that will be placed somewhere in the City.