'Unknown' becomes leading cause of death.
"We know it's not the....""
A new category has been invented to adjust to new normal death.
Health Boogaloo officials from around the world convened a five-minute meeting before heading out for drinks and dip in the pool after a gruelling session.
“We didn’t want to complicate things. Mysterious deaths are on the rise. We don’t know. Therefore, creating an ‘unknown’ category was logical,. We just know it’s not the, you know….you knnnnnow,” one Health Boogaloo expert - Badge #12 said.
‘Unknown’ has now replaced heart and stroke and cancer as the leading cause of deaths in the world.
“They’re the experts. They know what’s up. If they say it’s ‘unknown’ then-unknown it is. Will be a bit weird telling people I don’t know why my child died after vaccination. But staying unknown brings some closure. Thanks experts!’ said a mother on the street who recently lost her child to an exploding heart.
“No, I said it was ‘unknown’,” she corrected in a hushed tone.
A father on another street explained, “My 26 year-old son died in his sleep. He was boosted. Thank God. Now I know with this new category what caused it.”
Heath Boogaloo officials also announced a readjusting of life expectancy downwards to 52 for men and 56 for women.
“With all these sudden deaths, it made sense to bring life expectancy in line with them. We’re also working on a new category for transgender to make it more diverse!” explained a Health Boogaloo #47 statistician,
“Alexander the Great had an empire by 26 and died by 32. He accomplished a lot in so little time. Life is short. And now it’s literal. That’s a good thing. We have to face reality. You will eat bugs, be controlled remotely by Digital ID and speak with a German accent. It’s just the way it is,” Health Boogaloo expert #345 explained.
Johnny Dollar, you are something else.
Write some more please.
Hilarious and true.
first there was SIDS when kids died when they were babies. My guess is from some sort of vax. Now there is SADS because people are just dying for no reason...like all of a sudden. Weird.