Ukraine To Win All Awards Available
In a show of brave solidarity, Ukraine is being honoured by numerous award committees and organizations.
Thus far, Ukraine will be given the following awards and offers:
All Nobel prizes available.
An Oscar. Zelensky will win best actor award in all categories.
A Grammy. For the cover ‘Willow weep for me’ adapted to ‘Willow wheat for me’. Whistled to the original Muzzy Marcellino version.
America’s Got Talent. In all categories.
An honorary degree from all Ivy League schools.
The FIFA World Cup and Euro Cup.
The IOC will give 10 free Gold medals.
The entire country will get a free pass to Disney World.
Will be on the cover of Time.
New York City will paint all its buildings blue and yellow.
Order of Canada.
U.S. Medal of Freedom.
Free supply of Coke for one month.
Free supply of Pepsi for one month plus one day.
Free supply of Coke for one month plus two days.
Free supply of Pepsi for one month plus three days.
Justin Trudeau offers to take up residence there.
Free one-month subscription to Netflix.
Nike offers ‘Just do it’ t-shirts showing Ukrainians pulling triggers on guns to Russian civilians.
The American Medical Association promises to treat only Ukrainians and never Russians.
Blood banks will refuse to take Russian blood.
Sperm banks ban Russian sperm.
International Chess Association bans Russians. (Promptly folds).
Liquor commissions across the West ban Russian wine.
Celebrities promise to move to Ukraine.
Joe Biden offers to export American inflation in an attempt to solve the domestic problem.
The WNBA relocates to Ukraine.
Planned Parenthood offers free abortions for all Ukrainians including men.
John Lennon estate donates the song ‘Imagine’ to Ukraine.
Canadian government promises Ukraine flag for all Canadians.
Michelle Obama promises to hold up one sign for two days.
This is a non-exhaustive list and will be updated as the virtue-signalling continues.