Start-up introduces invisible mask
"Ta-dah!"
A start-up made up of two people has invented a unique product. The invisible mask.
Its inventor Mark Driftman was shopping at a grocery store when the idea came to him. “I was trying to decide on which flavour Jell-O to buy - lemon or cherry. I wish they combined the two to be honest - and a person passed by in a mask looking like a stupid idiot. Then it hit me! Cherry it is! And the idea to design an invisible mask”.
Masks have a catastrophic impact on marine life, the environment and human intelligence according to sociologist Abby Morenzo and believe this invention is the catalyst to shake people out of their trance. “I’ve been observing people for 22 years. It tool me 22 minutes into my first assignment in college that they’re lazy fucking retards who willingly let themselves be manipulated so long as you splash fear in their fearful faces. It never ceases to amaze me. They go about their lives, create a crisis and hear the Homer screams go off,” she explained. “It’s the story of humanity. Except this time they broke the mould with Covid-19. They managed to convince the world to be afraid of a virus roughly on par with the flu or common cold. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. And this invention is brilliant too.”
If you’re wondering how to get your hands on one, there’s good news. The product is its own supply chain. It’s ready to go straight to market.
“Don’t fall for all those fake invisible masks out there. Ours is the real deal”.
In a presentation, Driftman demonstrated how the mask works. “See? Ta-dah!”
Driftmans is working on other masks. ‘For those not ready for the invisible mask, I’m currently redesigning saran wrap and construction paper so that they magically become resistant to viruses. I believe they will be just as effective as any mask. They will come in different grades. X-95 and up.”
The invisible mask product is expected to be available next week on Amazon for $19.99.
In a brochure presented to us, it will come with a free ‘Fresh air pump!’ and a ‘Fight Covid like a Super Hero’ cape.”
Because we’re all heroes for having fought so hard for each other during the Covid pandemic.