Researchers Discover Vaccines Can't Harm Keith Richards

Study reveals a peculiar immune system.

Researchers interested in the behaviour of the spike protein and its potential toxicity stumbled on something they never thought was possible after examining the immune system of Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards.

Inhaling the spike protein.

“We learned that he has a peculiar, um, immune system. Rather than the spike protein potentially harming his organs, his immune system was killing the spike. Still more bizarre, he was spitting out little spikes. Remarkable, ‘ lead researcher at the University of Science Boogaloo Helen Le Paz explained.

When asked about what was discovered Richards responded something unintelligible followed by a crusty laugh as he spun his guitar around his neck and shoulders. Twice.

Richards then changed the lyrics of ‘Tumbling Dice’ to ‘Tumbling Spikes’.