Real Madrid to take on Fake Madrid in battle of existential realities.

The titan and the minnow will square off in Truman Burbank Tournament

Real Madrid and Fake Madrid will take to the pitch in a match many call the ‘battle for reality’ in the inaugural Truman Burbank Tournament in Seaside, Florida.

Sponsored by Pfizer and its media subsidiaries, the World Health Organization and World Economic Forum, Fake Madrid has had trouble fielding a team as several players have been suddenly stricken with various health issues including heart disease and death.

“It’s baffling for sure,” FM’s Manager Raul Ortega said. “We will continue to move forward. What? Another one? I gotta go.”

For their part, star-studded Real Madrid, firmly rooted in reality, has had no injuries to report.

Baffling injury reports

‘Nah. We’re good to go, Carlo Ancelotti told reporters while licking spumoni saying nothing more.

Controversy has surrounded Real in recent days as the team has opted not to accept Pfizer money being accused of ‘depraved indifference for the common good.” “It’s not standard practice for us to accept gifts from third-party strangers driving around in vans stocked with syringes and cartels,” The President of Real Madrid explained. “Just keeping it real. You know? Is that spumoni?”

Fans have been waiting for this match with much anticipation. One such individual - Ronnie - drove from as far away as Gainesville for the match. “I’m looking forward to the Jello-mud rasslin’ with the gators.” When he was informed it was a soccer match he stared blankly asking ‘what’s a soccer?’

Pfizer will be offering free ‘loot bags’. A Pfizer representative said the bags are spiked with wonderful proteins and other mystery ingredients. “You have to show up to find out,” he demurred.

The match will take place on Sunday. Tickets are available at all CVS locations. Buy 12 tickets and get a complimentary booster and spumoni cake.