Quebec Marks End Of Mask Mandate With Somber Ceremony; Empowers L'Office de la Langue Frenchie to fight Covid-19 +.
Many gentle heaves to be seen.
The Quebec government held a quiet but undignified ceremony to mark the end of mask mandates. All the Covid superstars were present. P’Tit Augustus Legault, Christian ‘Barney Rumble’ Dube, Luc Boileau and representatives from McDerna (formally McGill) as well as the Jewish General Boogaloo.
CTV News was on-site to cover the ceremony to ensure no fancy funny fake news stuff takes place. ‘We own the rights to bull shit’ the cameraman said.
Tin Pot Augustus (he wore a tin pot crown) spoke first. He began his speech before abruptly stating fighting back tears, “I can’t”. A visibly “happy” Dube took over while half-heartedly consoling his boss. He took a short deep breath and said, “Masks were the greatest thing since sliced bread. But I promise you this. The second Covid goes “grrrrrr” I will bring the masks back!” as he attempted to pound the podium but missed catching only air.
Infectious disease doctor Don Vinh, a recipient of some award recently, also asked if he could offer some words. “Masks were our only defence. Now we’re all gonna die. The fall is coming in five months. You’ll see.”
The ceremony ended when everyone donned their masks. Augustus, having regained his composure said, “OK, les boys. sacrament. One last time. To save grand-maman. CA VA BIEN ALLER!”
The government also announced an expansion of powers for the L’Office de la Langue Francaise (language and thought police) to combat Covid-19+.
It is himportant to crush henglish to beat Cuh-vid. Hesspecially wit no more les masques’We ‘ave to be more hintelligent den deh virus.
The office will be given powers to seize assets and shut down anyone who dares speak English. “We ‘ave to protect deh French language, correcte? We are very weak like population because 300 million maudit anglais haround us.” Dube added.
In support of the decision, Boileau said “Language police to keep hospitalizations down is a very good idea. Very distinct.”