Nina Jankowicz cast in musical version of 'The Shining'.

"She's a natural".

The classic horror Stanley Kubrick film ‘The Shining’ is undergoing a make-over. Newly appointed to what’s been described as a ‘Ministry of Truth, songstress Nina Jankowicz, has also been cast in the theatre musical production of ‘The Shining”

“It was time to update it. 1980 was a different period,” explained director Nina Hartley.

Jack = Nina. Wendy = Americans.

“I was, like all, you know, pumped when I got the part,” Jankowicz said. “It’s a dream come true. Or should I say nightmare” as she grimaced with a scowl.

“She’s a natural for the part of Jack. We wanted Jack to be a woman while Wendy will go to a transgender male. We wanted it to be all ‘Lola’ but more confusing,” head writer Patton Oswalt said. Oswalt was also cast as Danny.

Jankowicz has already taken to social media to reenact two scenes to warn people who engage in what she perceives to be ‘misinformation’. The first is where Jack demands Wendy to give him the bat on the stairs. Jankowicz is seen acting the part saying. “If you spread lies, I will bash your head in”. In another Tik Tok video she’s seen sticking her head through a door she destroyed with an axe and singing, ‘Here’s Nina!’

“It cost me $500 to replace the door. But it was worth it,” she Tweeted after the clip was posted.

The play is set to run from August 1-2.

There are not enough peas.

“Tickets have been slow but we’ll get there. 12 have been sold so far,” a spokesperson for the theatre said. ‘We’re working on getting prisoners bussed in to stack the seats. It’s New York after all.”

In another Tweet Jankowicz wrote, ‘All proceeds with go first to Chrystia Freeland and then over to Ukraine along with cans of Green Giant peas and corn. Support the cause!'“