MPs view label of "civil servant" antiquated.

They feel a new title to reflect modern times is appropriate.

Members of Parliament, after voting themselves a pay raise, have petitioned for a name change request.

“Hey, we like Wal-Mart too!” one MP said about the pay raise.

As for the request to do away with the term ‘civil servant’?

“I think the notion of a ‘civil servant’ is antiquated. It’s nice to believe we serve the people but let’s face it, we’re better than you. We at Parliament Enterprises don’t serve anyone,’ the MP from Ontario explained. “This is why we’ve petitioned for a change from ‘Civil Servant’ to ‘Civil Master’

Prime Master?

“I think the time has come. With all this disinformation out there, people need to understand only we are the line between civilization and barbarianism,” another MP from Quebec told us.

“It’s an open secret we’re civil masters,” she concluded.

Academics applauded the request.

Chewing on an egg sandwich, Professor Munchballs was in full support. “It’s a conspiracy made up by racists to believe they’re servants. All information should flow from one source - the experts like us - and civil masters facilitate this expertise turning it into sound public policy in the interest of the greater good” he explained following a short but healthy burp.

Canada is spearheading an effort to take this to the international community.

“I like it!” shouted Justin Trudeau before entering a costume shop when asked about whether he’d make this an item at the next G7 meeting.

An aide stated, “The Prime Minister is in full favor of this and thinks the international community should follow.”
She also intimated the PM made some playful remarks that ‘Prime Minister’ should be replaced with ‘Prime Master.’ “We may have a whole new exciting bureaucratic cultural shift here.” slurping a multi-coloured, layered, Starbucks drink with a metal straw.

In other news, McMaster is also looking for a name change. The governing board has asked the school change its name to McMasker.

However, this motion is not popular with all board members.

One board member, Karen Bugalescu, made the argument that, “McMaster is exactly the name you want when you coerce policy onto staff and policy. McMasker is cool and all but it lacks to power of McMASTER”.

But the Dean shot back, “McMasker has a nice ring to it. It reminds us we’re all in this together. Together in this fight against an invisible, shadowy, racist, right-wing virus,” slowly slipping on a mask shifting his eyes from left to right as if in fear of something that lurks out yonder of the shoulders of reporters.