McGill study show masks enhance dining experience.

Quebec's distinct society becomes more....distinct.

In a study published by McGill University people who wear masks enjoy their food more.

The aim of the study was to find out if people wear a mask in a restaurant at all times what would it do to their dining session?

“Turns out wearing a mask is the most romantic thing you can do” explained the lead author Dr. Veiryette told The Goolag. He added, This will make our job of forcing a change in social habits like masks easier.”

In one part of the study, where different foods including shrimp, spinach and souvlaki platters were measured. it was discovered that each time participants lowered their masks, took a bite and put them back on an explosion of flavours never tasted before were described.”

One of the participants who wished to remain anonymous said the ‘shrimp had a distinct ‘cardboard’ taste. ‘At first I thought it was bad and had something to do with the microfibres from the masks but I assured it wasn’t and that it really was flavours we’re not used to. It was a relief. I think’.

“Masks trap flavours like they do bacteria. Viruses not so much’ Dr. Kristopher Lavabos. ‘But I would have liked to have seen the study add N-95 masks. It keeps the flavours of a juicy steak trapped in your face better.”

Maskologist and Dr. Matt Owtonne added, ‘I knew it! Go Red….Go McGill!; Dr. Owtonne has been the most vocal supporter of masks since the pandemic broke out. ‘Masks really are unique. For too long they’re been ignored and overlooked but no more. I wear mine all the time. My wife joked, right before she left me for my best friend, ‘I never see you anymore’ he told Fearful with a sudden gaze of confusion as if he just had an epiphany of sorts.

The study consisted of 11 people of which eight wore their masks during the entirety of the study. ‘Right down to the desert’ co-author Dr. Milene Drewin exclaimed. ‘It was a real eye opener. Yes siree. A big eye in the sky opener’ she said struggling to contain her joy. When asked if the sample of participants was too small she was non-plussed, ‘What do you mean?’
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The team buoyed by the positive result and what it means for society moving forward are already planning the second part of the study commissioned by no one. Part-time astrologer and part-time epidemiologist Peter Joonee explained. “We will examine if masks add spice to sex life. This could have implications for how we direct people about how to practice, erm, safe sex.”