Man Wins Multiple International Awards For Calling Justin Trudeau a 'Poptart Lasagne'.
"I've never won anything in my life!"
Nick Elicoldi of Markham, Ontario has been facing a deluge of emails and phone calls honouring him for writing in a Tweet ‘Justin Trudeau is a fucking Poptart Lasagne who gaslights and trolls the world.”
“We’ve been trying to find ways to ban Justin Trudeau on social media” a diplomat from Jordan said. “It’s not easy but we wanted to reach out to Mr. Elicoldi to thank him for expressing what we’re all thinking.”
“It’s been crazy. I’ve never won anything in my life. I once was sent down to the principal’s office for achieving 10 straight perfect marks for spelling in the third grade but that’s about it where successes go.”
“Justin Trudeau is a troll and a Pop Tart” President of ACME Trophies Layla Jessica Tomes told The Goolag. “We had this trophy made up special just for Mr. Elicoldi” she added wiping a tear.
“I’m getting calls from the Oscars and Toni people. Oxfam, The War Amps, Shriners, Corrections Canada, the International Olive Oil Association. You name it. Even the NHL called offering me an honorary MVP award as did MLB. I never thought there were so many awards out there. I’m gonna need a bigger cabinet. Well, a cabinet.”
“Who are we kidding? The world has tired of Poptart Lasagne. It’s no longer 2015” said a Liberal insider who asked to remain anonymous. “The man from Markham touched a nerve with people all over the world.”
What’s next for Nick?
“I’ve been invited to speak all over the world but because of the travel ban, I can’t attend. It’s a bummer. But I’ve been given open invitations so hopefully, the bans get lifted and all involved are arrested or die under an avalanche of bull shit.”
Poptart Lasagne could not be reached for comment. His office was being fumigated.