J-School heads demand the government provide them with questions to ask during official press conferences.
J-School heads demand the government provide them with questions to ask during official press conferences.
“....tired and overworked asking lame-ass questions".
“Some call it cynicism but it’s probably laziness. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just logical to ask the government to help us out here. Our staff is tired and overworked asking lame-ass questions. Know what it feels like to not have the ability to ask original questions or the courage to challenge politicians? It’s hard” Editor Taylor Lorenz lamented wiping tears.
“I guess you can say we’re arguing that we don’t want the media system to be overwhelmed. Democracy is serious and without us, there’s no democracy”, she declared before ending her comment by saying, “There’s something in my eye.”
The over-arching concern for media is the constant threat of decreasing advertising revenues threatened by New Media. “They think they can come in and start actually reporting. We beg to differ. This is why we also ask social media and the government to increase their censorship efforts. Do they care about democracy and freedom or not?” Belmont Whoopeedoo told The Goolag.
In recent years, the lethargic and privileged nature of reporting has solidified the concept of ‘Fake news’ as a doublethink tactic to gaslight readers.
“It took us years to perfect the ‘You’re crazy” doctrine of journalism (aka the Randall McMurphy handbook). It’s a path to least resistance we all looked for. If you dare question any of our narratives, however insane (and we do literally employ people from mental institutions), we just spin it to make it look like the person is crazy. Or a racist. That’s been wildly successful. We created a world of racists and extremists where there are none. That’s power. People are lazy too so we feed off each other.”
Government officials, though pleased with the useful idiocy of media, wonder if it’s feasible. “We can certainly take over media. But how will that look? Not very good. We have to be more subtle about it. Like sending out ‘Catchphrases of the day’ and ‘words to be used’. It’s not that hard considering we have just two media bosses. , explained the Minister In Charge of Stupid Shit Propaganda (aka Heritage Minister) Pablo Rrrrrodtriguez.
Rosemary Barton of the CBC is having none of it. ‘The government is always dragging its feet. They don’t realize we’re pumped and primed to go full Pravda. The timing just feels right. They should pounce on the opportunity. POUNCE! I love you Justin!”
The government is expected to release their report as soon as Justin Trudeau returns from leaving the largest carbon footprint of any world leader gallivanting the globe.