Freezer Companies Solicit Chrystia Freeland

"She'd be a wonderful spokesperson for our company".

Frigidaire, General Electric, and Insignia as well as international brands like Costan are all soliciting the services of Deputy Prime Minister and freezer burn enthusiast Chrystia Freeland to be a spokesperson for their respective companies.

“She’d be a wonderful spokesperson for our company,” a representative from Frigidaire told us in an email. “She’s coldness personified”.

Cold as ice

Requests began to pour in soon after the Liberal government froze the bank accounts of protestors during the truckers’ convoy.

Freezer companies weren’t the only companies interested in her frigid services.

Mr. Freeze, the iconic popsicle, also made a pitch. “We’re prepared to introduce the all-new Mrs. Freeze your bank account. It comes in one flavour: Cold.”

“Ms. Freeland is honoured and flattered at the requests from these companies. She will give each of them thoughtful consideration. As for the request for her to play Foreigner’s ‘Cold as ice’ at her speaking engagements, Ms. Freeland will decline the offer,” an aide told reporters.

We reached out to Ms. Freeland for comment but neither she nor her office responded by the time this article was published.