Frank's Hot Sauce Used In Boosters

'They put that sh#! in everything.'

In exclusive documents from an insider at Pfizer, The Goolag has learned of the secret ingredient used in the miraculous boosters being administered to millions of sleepwalkers.

“You can say it’s like learning about a secret sauce heavily guarded by a hamburger chain or that of a well endowed and loaded male porn star,” said independent journalist Larry Fitzsimmons who obtained a copy of the bombshell showing Pfizer uses Frank’s Hot Sauce in its boosters.”

“They put that sh#! in everything from what I’m told. I put that shit on everything too,” he added.

Hot Mess

We asked a scientist not part of The Science (TM) religion about this discovery. Dr. Ralph Crampon from the University of Real Science Boogaloo Tech explained that using hot sauce is a good way to give the booster an extra boost. “Hot sauce is an ingenious way to boost you.

He also cautioned about all the rumours of increased heart attacks being related to the vaccines. “Hot sauce can be taxing on the heart so it’s only normal heart attacks that will occur. I think we need to keep perspective here. It’s the sauce and not the vaccine per se.”

However, this opinion isn’t shared by everyone. “What’s he fuckin’ talkin’ ‘bout? The sauce is in the vaccine is it not?'“ one scientist responded incredulity.

In a communication to our query, Pfizer answered, “We don’t put that sh#!” in everything but it can be a useful adjuvant.”

Frank’s Hot Sauce for their part were not aware of their product being used in experimental vaccines.

They replied to our email saying, in part, “Here at Frank’s Hot Sauce we’re committed to supporting public health. That being said, we prefer you splash hot sauce on french fries or omelettes or some other sh#!”