Federal government, experts, Karens and Social media team up calling for an NFL tackle ban.
In the aftermath of the Hamlin tragedy, groups say commitio cordis pandemic is around the corner.
The White House is supporting a movement started by experts and concerned citizens to end tackling in football. Social media, for its part, promised to promote #nocommitiobucko.
At a press conference, Karen declared, “Misinformation is literally killing our kids. And possibly some old people. It’s no different than someone walking up to you and stabbing you with a bullet,”
Another Karen, “I’ve been saying for years now someone is gonna get commitio cordis playing games! It must stop now or else it’s going to be a pandemic of commotio cordis! Amirite, doc?”
Paediatrician Dr. Lalallalago concurred. “It is my expert opinion tackling is bad. We can prevent a comotio cordis outbreak by implementing common sense rules. Banning tackling is one of them. Next for me would include banning heading the ball in soccer and the slap shot in hockey. Oh, and the ‘pick and roll’ in basketball. Lotsa chest impacting there. Quite frankly, if you disagree, you’re a terrible-horrible piece of garbage.”
Karen again added, “I never watched football. I really don’t see the problem here. The NFL should do the right thing and ban tackling. And make sure the players wear masks on the field for the love of God. There’s still a pandemic out there people!”
The group issued a formal letter to Commissioner Goodell on Tuesday night.
The NFL did not respond to email inquiries.