Faced with recalcitrant resistance, doctors suggest lobotomies to quell the spread of the Wuhan virus.
"It's worth a second shot".
The rise of people questioning mandates have officials worried.
“This can’t stand. We’ve already alerted our friends in the media to help us with the problem”, explained Jolene Rotalene of the Social Health Policy for the Institute of People who don’t Follow Rules Good (SHPIPDFRRG).
“This puts a direct bulls-eye on our democracy. The government has to decide if they want a society where people do democracy good or if they want a break down in society where people don’t do democracy good. That is the question’.
Social policy experts aren’t alone in her concerns.
“It’s a biggie alright’, Dr. Paula Poundsit at the Montreal High Performance Hospital for Lobotomies explained.
She recently controversially suggested a program long since discarded as one way to help stop the spread of people asking too many questions.
“Lobotomies were a thing 75 years ago but fell out of favour for some reason. I worry therapeutic nihilism exhibited in some people, for example, anti-maskers, can pose a serious threat to public health. Truth is, it was always a good way to keep people in line. With better training and technology we can perform one inside nine minutes.”
Critically holding and eyeing a muffin she added, “It’s worth a shot”.
For now, the government is leaving all options on the table. ‘No strategy or idea will be left unturned in this fight’ said an official with the Ministry of Bad Policy.