Eric Topol Teams With Sham-Wow Guy To Boost mRNA Sales And Nasal Sprays
Star mRNA promoter Dr. Eric Topol will be teaming up with Sham-Wow pitchman Vincent Shiomi in an effort to boost mRNA and nasal spray sales.
“The synergies couldn’t be more syngergistic’ a spokesperson for Sham-Wow told The Goolag. “The vaccines are one of the biggest shams in history. Now that deserves a Wow! A Sham-Wow! Get it?” he continued.
“I’m proud to be teaming up with Sham-Wow. It’s the perfect late-night demographic I went to convince to take these wonderful products,” Dr. Topol said in a phone interview.
Topol added, “I hope to also join other ad networks. The ‘Sell your gold’ people’ approached me. I like that because mRNA really is gold. Know what I’m saying?”
“Nasal sprays? Why the little mother-effers! Back in 2020 I recognized Covid could be killed with the zap of a nasal spray. I presented my products to the government and experts like Topol only to be laughed at and told to ‘go play with Hydra-Sense hocus-pocus in a Russian park. We got this.” Whatever that means. Do you know what that means? Nothing makes sense anymore,” expressed Mike Bigness; an early pioneer of nasal sprays.
Peter Hotez is also rumoured to be joining Sham-Wow. He did not return our calls in time for this report.
“Oh, Peetie would be great,” remarked Topol. “These shots saved 20 elevenymillion people according to models. What more proof do you need?”
You can see Topol’s debut tonight at 1 am local time.