Canadian Military Meets DIE Targets.

But some say it comes at a cost.

The Canadian military recently announced it is now the most diverse, inclusive and equitable army in the world.

With Prime Minister looking on sporting dapper socks and his signature grin, Commander Jocelyn Paul made the announcement before the media this afternoon. “It is with great pleasure and pride I declare that we have an army, well, to DIE for!”

The Canadian Armed Forces set its objectives at the behest of Prime Minister Trudeau who could not be more pleased. “This, uh, shows, uh how when we Canadians pull together, uh, it really hits you.”

The menacing awesomeness of DIE-ing faces.

He continued, “Our CCP handlers couldn't care less though” and promised to take it up with his local CCP contact at his favorite Polish cafe. “They make a really good coffee with vodka.”

However, experts have warned the focus on DIE has come at a cost. “We can’t feed our soldiers. We can’t equip them properly and our technological capabilities continue to lag our allies”, Will Still from the University of Army Boogaloo said. “We have to decide as a post-nation state entity controlled by China just how we want our military to look. I for one think it needs more guns, tits and ammo.”

Not everyone agrees. “I think it’s really cool. I hope it’s Pride Day every day in the army,” one person we interviewed said. “We’re such a beacon to the world. I hope everyone copies us. Take that Russia!”

Paul adds to this sentiment. I think we’re blessed to have such talented and dedicated CRT marketers in Canada.

Shrugging off the anacronym actually being DEI, he cited the ‘We DIE vaccinated’ campaign as the key to having achieved the DIE objective.

“Now, we can defend freedom and democracy with rainbow cattiness,” he said.