Breaking: WHO Reclassifies Viruses Originally Named With Generic "Virus".

The World Health Organization has redefined and reclassified all viruses as ‘Virus’.

“The decision is in line with furthering our march towards an inclusive and egalitarian world decorated with delicious diversity, Assigning a geographic location to a virus was racist and unhelpful. Know what’s helpful? VACCINES!” W.H.O. boss Tedros told reporters.

I need a vaccine for all my lies and this splitting migraine.

“We’ve already arbitrarily redefined what a pandemic and vaccine is, so this was a natural decision,” Tedros continued sweating and observing his CCP handlers.

“From now on, any virus we deem to be a threat will be referred to as ‘Virus A, Virus B and so on until we reach Z. Or Zed in Canada,” explained a W.H.O. official. “Once we get through the 26 letters of the alphabet - and we will - we’ll move to a numeric system. As in Virus 1, Virus 2. It doesn’t matter. We have vaccines lined up for each anyway,” the official concluded.

Not everyone is pleased with the decision.

One doctor was quoted as saying, “How the fuck am I supposed to know how to treat this shit?”

In response to such concerns, Tedros said they’re working on it. He and the CCP will provide a protocol just as soon as they gain control of the world’s public health.

“We are working closely with our partners - Bill Gates, Justin Trudeau, Joe Biden and of course - wink - the CCP to provide the best possible pandemic advice we can give,” he concluded.